FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can."
--President Ezra Taft Benson

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT--Pride, the Universal Sin

I have been thinking about pride this week. I revisted a favorite talk of mine, a classic, "Beware of Pride" by Ezra Taft Benson, which reminds us that pride is the universal sin. All of us have the ability to be humble, but as a part of the natural man, pride and enmity are real temptations for each of us. I know that I need to be more humble, not in a "I-know-I'm-better-than-you-or-you way", but in being more teachable, more senstive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, in not being quick to judge others or to be easily offended. Also, as a faithful, active member of the church, sometimes I feel the adversary trying to flatter me: "Oh, Kristen, that was such an amazing lesson that you taught. You are such a fantastic member of the church! You are an awesome visiting teacher. You must be pretty important to have THAT calling. I'm sure others are just so impressed with how well your talk went. You are so great..." I am struggling lately with these part-truths, because I HAVE seen so much spritual growth and improvement in the last few years, that I partly feel entitled to revel in the natural-man feelings of self-satisfaction. And I'm not going to lie...hearing from a ward member that I did a good job on a lesson does feel good. It might sound shallow, but I really need to remind myself, and often, that all the things I am able to do are because of a loving Heavenly Father. Without him I am nothing. Today I read Ammon's own testimony of this same principle:

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
12 Yea, I know that I am nothing as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

As the weight continues to come off (albeit more slowly now), I am constantly receiving compliments. I am a compliment-loving girl, a people-pleaser, a sponge! I love the quote by Mark Twain, "I can live for two months on a compliment."

I can totally relate. I'm sure it's human nature to love hearing good things about yourself, but for me, it's as essential as air, food, and water. My love language is irrefutably Words of Affirmation. Perhaps this is rooted in a low self-esteem I have had for much of my life, and a need for validation. Perhaps it's just a woman thing.

Anyway, the tendancy is to hold on to those compliments without always remembering to redirect them UPWARD in the forms of praising and expressing gratitude. I feel that this should be a focus of mine and I'm going to consciously work on remembering to do this as I receive compliments of any nature.

With that being said, I'd like to publicly give my God all of the credit for any successes I've had, as well as for my future successes. I make the choices that lead to these choices, but even my agency is a gift from him. Without Him, I wouldn't even have a body from which to lose weight! He has granted me every ounce of energy, function, and most importantly DESIRE that I have needed to lose more than 70 pounds! And for this, I must praise Him! Thank you, thank you, Dear Father! I am so grateful for the hope that has been granted to me. I am thankful for the gift of prayer that carries me through the hard days: when I don't want to exercise, when Rebellious Kristen comes out to play, or when I begin to lose patience. I am thankful for a Father who has lovingly revealed to me the importance of self-compassion. I am thankful for a church that teaches the value and worth of a woman of God. Thank you, Lord for all that I am, and all that I have the potential to become!

FOOD FOR THE BODY

ROASTED CABBAGE WEDGES
from (kalynskitchen.com)

Serves: 3
Points+: 1

1 medium-sized head of green cabbage
2 T olive oil
2-3 T fresh squeezed lemon juice (I used 2 T for the cabbage in these photos, but next time I'd use even more lemon)
generous amount of sea salt and fresh ground black pepper
lemon slices, for serving cabbage (optional)

Preheat oven to 450F/232C. Spray a roasting pan with non-stick spray or olive oil.

Cut the head of cabbage into 8 same-size wedges, cutting through the core and stem end. Then carefully trim the core strip and stem from each wedge and arrange wedges in a single layer on the roasting pan (leave some space around them as much as you can.)

Whisk together the olive oil and lemon juice (use the larger amount of lemon juice if you like a lot of lemon like I do.) Then use a pastry brush to brush the top sides of each cabbage wedge with the mixture and season generously with salt and fresh ground black pepper. Turn cabbage wedges carefully, then brush the second side with the olive oil/lemon juice mixture and season with salt and pepper.

Roast cabbage for about 15 minutes, or until the side touching the pan is nicely browned. Then turn each wedge carefully and roast 10-15 minutes more, until the cabbage is nicely browned and cooked through with a bit of chewiness remaining. Serve hot, with additional lemon slices to squeeze lemon juice on at the table if desired.

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT--Specific Prayers Answered Specifically

Today I reread one of my FAVORITE conference talks of all time: "The Privilege of Prayer" by J. Devn Cornish. You can read it by following this link: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-privilege-of-prayer?lang=eng&media=video

I love, love, love Elder Cornish's story of finding the quarter on the side of the road after he prayed a very specific prayer that he would find the money and be able to buy himself a drumstick at the chicken place on his way from work. (He was very tired and hungry and wanted to be able to have the energy to be a good father when he got home). I love this story so much, because it reiterates a personal testimony that I have gained over the years that not only are prayers answered, but that SPECIFIC prayers are answered SPECIFICALLY.

I have a few examples from my own life. A few months ago, I was pondering what on earth to do for the kids for Christmas gifts. Each of them had given me their simple lists of three things they would like from Santa. The task then came to make it happen on a teeny, tiny, under-employed, daddy's-a-full-time-college-student, mommy-only-works-twice-a-week budget. Oh boy. One of the things my son, Matthew wanted the very most, was a stuffed Rottweiler puppy. I know, it's kind of random, but he has a little collection of Rottweiler puppies in all different sizes. He was very specific that it just HAD to look like his other doggies. It HAD to be a Rottweiler. A few days later, I thought of Elder Cornish's prayer, and prayed that I would be led to an affordable little Rottweiler for my little guy. Several minutes later, I had a prompting to go to Deseret Industries (our local thrift store), NOW. So I did. I went to the toy department, looked around and didn't see any appropriate doggies, then turned to leave the store. A small voice came again: "Look again." I turned back to the shelf and there right on top, was a sweet little Rottweiler puppy, new with the tags! WHAT?! I couldn't believe it!

Another example is kind of an ongoing thing...my weigh-ins. Each week, before my Weight Watchers weigh-in, I have a little meeting with my Heavenly Father. I sort of tell him how I think I did, and express the desire of my heart (usually a number of pounds I would like to lose that week), given my effort during the week. I pray that he will maximize my results and magnify the efforts that I have made. I try to remain as candid and honest in these prayers as possible, and to never ask amiss for a blessing of weight loss. For example, on a good week, I will pray for a loss of two pounds, expressing that I feel my effort was sufficient to qualify for this amount, and that that would truly be the desire of my heart. I always leave it in the Lord's hands though, and include the phrase "according to THY will." I really think that is KEY! Almost without exception, I am granted the numbers I desire. In fact, it's been pretty cool to record these. When I ask for a certain number, there has been a trend which I've noticed that is pretty amazing to me: when I ask for a two pound loss, I lose 2.2, when I request a 1 pound loss, it's 1.2, etc. This phenomenon has happened over and over and over since I have started expressing my SPECIFIC desires.

It might sound funny, but I always feel that the ".2" is sacred. The ".2", to me, is an evidence of love. It's that extra few ounces lost that exhibits his mercy and compassion towards a woman who has given it her best effort. It's like the bow on top of the gift. The final little loving touch.

My weight loss journey continues. I am not close to my goal weight. I still have at least fifty to sixty more pounds to lose. But, I know that I am being helped along by my Savior, who understands all of my difficulties and struggles, and by a loving and compassionate Father who stands ready and so willing to bless me with the SPECIFIC desires of my heart. I know I'll get there for all things are possible with God.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"One of the secrets to a joyful life is to recognize that doing things the Lord’s way will make me happier than doing things my way." --J. Devn Cornish

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

FOOD FOR THE BODY

BLACK BEAN BROWNIES

Serves: 9
Points+: 6

1 (15-oz) can black beans, drained and rinsed very well
3 large eggs
3 tablespoons canola oil

3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

Preheat oven to 350˚F. Grease an 8-x 8-inch baking pan; set aside.

Process the black beans in the bowl of a food processor until smooth. Add the rest of the ingredients, minus the chocolate chips and process again until smooth. Mix in 1/2 cup of the chocolate chips and pulse a few times just until the chips are incorporated.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and smooth with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup chocolate chips.

Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until the edges start to pull away from the sides and it passes the toothpick test. Cool completely in the pan, then slice into squares.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

“I can’t stress too strongly that decisions determine destiny. You can’t make eternal decisions without eternal consequences.” --Thomas S. Monson

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT--The Scholarship (A Parable from My Life)

Today I was thinking back...way, way back to an experience I had in college. It's funny that I had never seen the spiritual parallel in this experience until today while I was reading an address by Randall K. Bennett of the Seventy, entitled "Choosing Eternal Life." (You can read this AWESOME talk here: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/choose-eternal-life?lang=eng&media=video)

Anyway, I was contemplating how my everyday choices, like it or not, lead me towards either eternal life or eternal damnation. As I was thinking about whether or not it was really fair for God to NOT grant someone like me, who has done many righteous things in my life, eternal life and all its blessings, because I am still somewhat imperfect, with just a few sins here and there, I recalled an experience from my Freshman year of college.

I attended Weber State University on a leadership scholarship. Along with the academic requirements for this scholarship, I was required to attend leadership meetings with fellow scholarship recipients. We got together on a regular basis for planning meetings, leadership training, and to socialize with one another. Now, as a side note, for whatever reason, my freshman year of college was a very awkward and uncomfortable time for me. In high school, I had been popular, outgoing, enthusiastic, and bubbly. In college, I had no friends, I had just sent my boyfriend on a mission, and I was experiencing the uncomfortable "new kid on the block" feeling. As I attended my leadership meetings and training sessions, this feeling of discomfort and even shyness became more pronounced. These other students were all past student body officers, head cheerleaders, and all of them were beautiful, well-dressed, outgoing, confident people! I felt that I didn't belong in this group at ALL and I allowed these feelings of misplacement and inadequacy perpetuate. With each gathering, I found myself withdrawing more and more from the group, pulling further away from my responsibilities, and eventually, I stopped going to the meetings all together. At this point, the discomfort was too much; I simply couldn't face another uncomfortable, lonely minute at the meetings. It wasn't that the students were unkind to me; I simply felt that I had nothing in common with them. I didn't belong. After several weeks of skipping meetings and training sessions, I received a call from my leadership council advisor, Nancy. She wanted to meet with me. As I walked to her office, I thought about the conversation that we would have there: she would remind me of the importance of the meetings and ask me to start coming back to them. I would then muster up the courage to agree with her, start attending the meetings once more, then move forward with my responsibilities. Nancy, however, surprised me by quickly taking away my scholarship. She explained to me that with the school year already more than a quarter of the year complete, I would not have time to make up the missed meetings. She continued by telling me that it simply wasn't fair for me to enjoy the benefits of my scholarship since I had not been doing the same amount of work that my fellow students had been doing. I probably could have argued my case and begged for another chance, for more time, or for some compassion from the administration. I could have explained to Nancy why I felt uncomfortable in the meetings, but deep down, I knew that she was right. I chose to accept her decision and I left the office that day, stripped of my much-needed scholarship. To say the least, it was an extremely humbling experience.

I find that there is a parallel here between my desire for an inheritance in the celestial kingdom and my desire for a prestigious scholarship at a university. On my way to exaltation, I will encounter discomfort, and at times, I'm sure I will make mistakes in judgement, or feel that I simply don't belong or that I'm not good enough. But with each decision I make, I am choosing whether or not I will wind up in good standing with the administration (Heavenly Father), or whether I will forfeit my scholarship (inheritance) by shirking my responsibilities and divine duties here on earth. Nancy wasn't a mean, cold-hearted person. She was kind, approachable, and fair. I really could have gone to her at any time and expressed my concerns. I am confident that she would've worked with me, talked me through my difficulties, and helped me to succeed in any way that she could have. But I never approached her. I never explained the struggles I was having. Likewise, our Heavenly Father LONGS to be involved in our lives, to help alleviate our pain, guide us during our hard times, but he cannot do it until we ask for help. It's still such a shame to me that I lost this scholarship. It was such a needless thing to have happened, and a mistake that ultimately ended up costing me thousands of dollars. But how much greater would be my regret if I forfeited my eternal salvation by turning away from my responsibilities, neglecting to ask for help along the way, and by allowing the discomfort of repentance and growth to halt my progress? I hope that I can have the spiritual maturity and wisdom to ASK for help, to COMMUNICATE with my Advisor, the Savior, and that I will be able to find great joy in spending eternity with my Father in Heaven and my family. I pray that I will be able to seek valiance over convenience, humility over pride, and hope over discouragement.

UPDATE

Well, I guess there comes a point in each person's life when it's time to LIVE! I started this blog with the hope of using my faith to fuel my desire to lose some serious weight. As you may have noticed, I am now horrible at keeping up with the blog. I just wanted to let you know that it's NOT because I've given up on my dreams for a healthier body...quite the opposite! I am now down 73 pounds from my January 1, 2011 weight. That's three pants sizes, folks! I am SOOOO grateful for my faith, and I feel my testimony of the goodness of God grow each day. HE is the reason for my success. HE is my personal trainer. HE has taught me how to care for myself spiritually and physically. And I will return thanks to Him by testifying of Him in all I do. I'm not there yet. . . I still have a long, long way to go, but I know that all things are possible for those who love the Lord. And I love the Lord. It's been hard to keep up my blog because I am now spending more time planning meals, counting points (Weight Watchers), working out, and studying the scriptures and conference talks. I miss all my blog readers, but I feel like a little bird who has just learned to fly! I will update you periodically, and I want to thank you for your prayers and support over the years. You are awesome and I love you!!

FOOD FOR THE BODY

ROASTED CHICKPEAS (from http://www.sweetpeaskitchen.com/)

Serves: 8

Points+: 4

2 (15 ounce) cans of chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon olive oil
1 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon chile powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
Dash cayenne pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Drain and rinse chickpeas in a colander under running water. Pat dry with a kitchen towel. In a medium bowl, whisk together olive oil and spices. Add chickpeas and toss until coated with spice mixture. Spread chickpeas out on a rimmed baking sheet. Roast, shaking the pan occasionally, until the chickpeas are slightly brown and crunchy, 35-40 minutes. Cool slightly before serving. Adjust seasoning to taste.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.

God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him." --Dieter F. Uchdorf

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT-Forget-Me-Not

Gems from Dieter F. Uchdorf's fabulous talk, "Forget Me Not"

(view this talk in its entirety at http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng)

"Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love."

"Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time! He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the daughters of His kingdom."

"My dear sisters, you are closer to heaven than you suppose. You are destined for more than you can possibly imagine. "

"Let us not walk the path of discipleship with our eyes on the ground, thinking only of the tasks and obligations before us. Let us not walk unaware of the beauty of the glorious earthly and spiritual landscapes that surround us."

"My dear sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us."

"The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."

"Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life."

"Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey."

"Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It’s wonderful that you have strengths. And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses."

UPDATE!!!

Wow! I cannot believe that my last post was in July! I am so sorry to leave you all hanging! It amazes me how much has happened in that short window of time.

I have left Farmers Insurance altogether, since they were not able to pay me what I deserved. I am now working in Roy as the Office Manager of an Allstate office. I dearly love my new job. The agent I work for is very kind and has allowed me to choose my own hours. This office seems a lot more relaxed, so it is much easier for me to not bring work home with me. I am also stilling filling in at Blomquist Hale Consulting from time to time. Tyler is still working at Triumph, though he is now working the graveyard shift, which frees up his days for school and allows me to work as well. He has been accepted into the Math Education program and is still doing very well in all his classes.

On the weight loss front, I am thrilled to announce that I have now lost 50 pounds!!! I am so very grateful for the support of my family and friends, and most of all, to my Heavenly Father and to the Savior. I could never have done this on my own. . . believe me, I've tried! I am so happy to be back at Weight Watchers. It is such a wonderful program and it really does fit my crazy life perfectly. I am so sorry for not posting more, but I am grateful that after more than a year and a half of posting about my aspirations to lose weight and gain health, I am now LIVING it! With all my meal planning, tracking, cooking, exercising, and going to WW meetings, it has become necessary for my to limit the time I spend online. That being said, I will try to post periodically, just to let you know how things are going. Thanks again, readers, for always believing in me! I love you!

HEALTHIFIED MAC AND CHEESE

(from http://www.eatbetteramerica.com/)

Serves: 6

Points+: 9

2 c. regular or whole wheat pasta, uncooked

2 c. fat free milk

3 T. all-purpose flour

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

1/8 tsp. red pepper

2 c. shredded reduced-fat sharp cheddar cheese

Cook and drain pasta. Return to saucepan, cover to keep warm. Meanwhile, heat oven to 350*. Spray 8-inch square glass baking dish with cooking spray. In 2-quart saucepan, stir milk, flour, mustard, salt, black pepper, and red pepper with wire whisk until smooth. cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture boils and thickens. Remove from heat. Stir cheese until melted. Add cheese sauce to cooked macaroni; mix well. Spoon mixture into baking dish. Bake 20-25 minutes or until edges are bubbly.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"I feel that the Savior will give that punishment which is the very least that our transgression will justify. I believe that he will bring into his justice all of the infinite love and blessing and mercy and kindness and understanding that he has . . .

And on the other hand, I believe that when it comes to making the rewards for our good conduct, he will give us the maximum that it is possible to give, having in mind the offense which we have committed" (J. Ruben Clark, as quoted by James E. Faust, "The Atonement: Our Greatest Hope," Ensign, Jan. 2002).

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT--A Precarious Position

My husband and I were talking about the spiritual significance of a hiking experience we had about six years ago in Arches National Park. We were on a weekend getaway and wanted to hike to the Delicate Arch overlook. We had heard that the hike to the overlook was relatively easy, so off we went. We had been advised by others who had been on the hike before, to make sure to look for the stacked cairns along the way. For this hike, in particular, cairns were especially important, since the slickrock trail was so undefined. A few miles into the hike, we stopped seeing the cairns, but didn't worry too much, since we had a good view of the arch itself. We figured we must still be going the right way. As we got within a half mile or so of the arch, we saw a small path on the side of a red wall of stone. We figured that this was our path, so we commenced to follow the wall towards the arch. Somehow we did not notice that the further along the path we walked, the narrower the path became. Several yards in, we noticed that we were walking a pathway not any wider than the shoes we were wearing!

We suddenly felt very foolish and very much in danger. How on earth did we not realize the danger that we had been in? I looked down and saw a steep, slickrock drop of well over 100 feet. Paralyzed with fear at my predicament, I simply couldn't find the courage to move. My brave husband quickly scampered away from the wall, then turned and found me plastered to the wall, holding on with all my might. He came back out onto the narrow path, took my hand, and we gingerly moved back to safety.

To this day, I still get physically ill to think of how close we came to disaster. Once we had reached the wider part of the path, we started searching for the correct route. To our surprise, it was only a few feet away from us, on the other side of the wall which we had been clinging to so desperately. The path there was well guarded with ropes. We quickly made our way to the overlook. When we had seated ourselves, we sat for a long time, in awe of the beautiful view, thankful for the protection we had been given.

The thing about this experience that still befuddles me, is that we never knew what danger we were in, until we were already in such a vulnerable, precarious position. How could we have not known that the path would narrow so? How could we not see, that this dangerous, narrow path could not possibly be safe? We never knew what danger we were placing ourselves in, until it was almost too late! We were never trying to be reckless, but our carelessness just about led to serious injury, or even death.

How often do we "wake up" to the reality of our spiritual situations, also perplexed about how we got ourselves into such situations? I don't think that we always find ourselves knee-deep in sin, because we were being reckless, but like our hike, if we don't constantly look for the cairns of gospel truth and guidance, it can be easy to lose our ways.

Anyway, I am grateful for the "cairns" in my life: the holy scriptures, a living prophet, good church leaders, and the gift of personal revelation through the Holy Ghost. I hope that whenever I do find myself in trouble, I can be kept from danger, through the Atonement, and take the Savior's hand as He offers to lead me back to safety. I hope I can follow Him, for I know that He is the only way to get to my ultimate destination: eternal life.

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT-Renewal

Yesterday was wonderfully weird. I had the opportunity to visit a ward in my stake for their ward conference. Since I had no children with me, I was able to focus deeply on the messages taught in class and in sacrament meeting. The spirit was strong, even overwhelming. I was holding back tears the entire block. These tears, not atypical for me at all, were hard to understand. They weren't necessarily tears of gratitude OR tears of despair. I'm not sure why I was so moved. Was I exhausted? Was I feeling hopeful? Was I confused? Anyway, sometimes it is good to feel touched, even if I can't explain the emotion behind it. Sometimes it is good to not be able to express myself in words; then, I find myself in the position to listen.

I came home from church with a headache. My family was still at church so the house was quiet. It was the perfect opportunity for me to take a nap. Instead, I laid in bed, my thoughts racing. I said an inward prayer that the Lord would halt my thoughts and allow me to simply "be still and know that He is God." I didn't sleep, but rested physically and emotionally for some time.

After I got up, I felt renewed, rejuvenated, and ready to face another day. I was blessed with clarity and a new resolve to choose faith. I was thinking that that is one of the wonderful things about faith and hope; they are regenerative in nature. You can be just about spent ... at your wit's end one day, then wake up full of faith and hope the next. I am thankful that my faith is a renewable resource!

Today I was reading about hope in an address by Russell M. Nelson . Here are some of the fabulous one-liners from the article:

"Passing tests of obedience requires faith and hope---constantly."

"A correlation exists between hope and gratitude."

"Counting blessings is better than recounting problems."

"Hope emanates from the Lord, and it transcends the bounds of this mortal sphere."

"A more excellent hope is mightier than a wistful wish."

"Hope, fortified by faith and charity, forges a force stronger than steel. Hope becomes an anchor to the soul. To this anchor, the faithful can cling, securely tethered to the Lord. Satan, on the other hand, would have us cast away that anchor and drift with the ebb tide of despair. If we cling to the anchor of hope, it will be our safeguard forever."

"Insufficient hope often means insufficient repentance."

"Happiness comes when scriptures are used in shaping our lives."

"If our hopes were narrowly confined only to moments in mortality, we should surely be disappointed. Our ultimate hope must be anchored to the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ."

"God sent us here to be happy and successful. Meanwhile, he also needs us."

I hope that I can, as President Howard W. Hunter exhorts, "hope a little more and despair a little less." And until I become 100% happy and 100% successful, I hope I can be available to serve the Lord. I hope I can posses faith, hope, and charity CONSTANTLY and choose faith over fear at all times.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Not surprisingly, faith, hope, and charity have their opposing forces. . . the antithesis of faith is doubt; the opposite of hope is despair. And the opposite of charity is disregard or even disdain for the Savior and His commandments. Therefore, in our quest for faith, hope, and charity, we must beware of doubt, despair, or disdain for the divine." --Russell M. Nelson

FOOD FOR THE BODY

PULLED PORK (adapted from http://www.foodnetwork.com/)

Serves: 6

Points+: 8 (without bun)

3 tsp. vegetable oil, divided

1 small onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

kosher salt and black pepper

2 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp. ground cumin

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

1 1/2 c. low-sodium chicken broth

1/3 c. ketchup

1/3 c. plus apple cider vinegar

2 T. molasses

1 pork tenderloin, about 1 lb., cut into 4 pieces

In a large Dutch oven, heat 2 tsp. of oil over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and season with salt and pepper. Cook until softened and lightly browned (5 minutes). Add the chili powder, cumin, cinnamon, and cayenne and cook until toasted (one minute more). Stir in the broth, ketchup, 1/3 c. vinegar, and molasses. Bring to a simmer and add the pork. Simmer, covered until the pork is just cooked and tender, about 20 minutes. Remove the pork to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes. Increase the heat on the remaining sauce in the pot to medium-high heat and cook until thickened, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Shred the pork with two forks into large chunks. Toss back into pan and combine with remaining sauce to absorb juices. Let stand 10 minutes, then serve on whole wheat sandwich buns with yummy coleslaw and corn on the cob! (Additional points)

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Testimony is to know and feel. Conversion is to do and become." --Elder Dallin H. Oaks

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT-My Crazy Good Life

Well, life is still crazy, but it feels mostly crazy good, not crazy bad. Tyler is back in school with two new semesters under his belt. I am so proud of him. He is getting wonderful grades and works full time too. What a wonderful husband and father he is! Unfortunately, his paraprofessional teaching position at Dale Young Community High School has now been eliminated due to budget cuts. Which means, by necessity, I have gone back to work again. I am doing some telemarketing for the same insurance agent I used to work for, which is a little frustrating, since the pay is so little, considering that I am a licensed insurance producer. I am also working for Blomquist Hale Consulting, a counseling office here in Brigham. I am the fill-in receptionist, so I only work a few days each month, but the hourly wage here is great, the job is very easy, and I LOVE the nature of the work. I feel very blessed to be where I am.

The frustrating thing is, I STILL do not know where we will ever find stability in our careers. It seems like every time we find a resting place: jobs that pay the bills, schedules that work for our family, etc., then is the time when we are again pushed into the dark. The other day, another Farmers agent from Roy called me out of the blue and talked to me about filling in for his receptionist while she is out on maternity leave and also doing some telemarketing for them. At his office, I would make MUCH more money. The only problem is that it is quite a commute for a mommy who is not even sure she's supposed to be working at all. And I'm scared. I have a part of me that is so timid, so very frightened of discomfort. I'm a homebody by nature and all this putting myself out there professionally becomes exhausting. I am tired. But, it's nice to have options and to know that we have a future when so many are not employed at all during these hard times. I'm sorry if this post is disjointed and unorganized. If so, it would accurately represent the jumble of thoughts and feelings in my mind and heart.

Thank goodness for the Spirit. I love knowing that I can have moments of peace and clarity whenever I choose to slow down and take the time to pray, read my scriptures, and meditate. I have been combining my scripture study and my workout sessions on the elliptical machine. I now look forward to these times. After a long, stressful day, it is so nice to go downstairs and jump on my elliptical and read the words of the prophets. It has been so good for me.

This is sure to be a lengthy post, since I haven't even gotten to my main point yet. Even with all the uncertainty swirling around my family, I feel peaceful most of the time. I know that I will be led in the dark if I live righteously, which I am desperately trying to do. I know that the Lord is mindful of our situation and that He knows why we are facing these trials, and what our faith can help us accomplish eventually. I am able to look back on the tremendous growth we have both experienced in the last twenty one months since Ty lost his job. We have learned to have more faith, to trust in our loving Heavenly Father and each other. Our family is close. Our blessings are appreciated, and rarely taken for granted. Our perspective is better. Our spiritual capacities have expanded. Our testimony of tithing is absolutely undeniable. I feel honored to have been "blessed" with this trial.

Anyway, I was going to share a great little story with you from Elder Allen F. Packer. He was playing in an important football game when he was on his high school team. He had prepared well for the game, showing up each day for practice, running his drills, working out his body to develop strength, and listening diligently to the counsel of his wise coach who dedicated himself to teaching his team the basics of football. He kept practicing until his skills became natural and automatic. In the most critical, chaotic moment of the game, amid the deafening noise, he was able to hear his coach's voice above the crowd, "Packer! Tackle him!"

He went on: "I have wondered how I heard the voice above all the other noise. I had become acquainted with the voice of the coach during the practices, and I had learned to trust it. I knew that what he taught worked. We need to be acquanited with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies." (Elder Allen F. Packer, "Finding Strength in Challenging Times," General Conference, April 2009)

I am so grateful to have the ability to hear the Spirit's promptings over the roar and chaos of the word and all its cares. I am so very blessed to have this direction. Each time I choose to obey, each time I chose faith over fear, I become more practiced in living the gospel and living righteously becomes a little easier, more natural and automatic. I have felt my testimony grow through my obedience. I hope that I can continue in faith and trust. I pray that I will always be able to hear the voice of the Lord in the midst of challenges and chaos.

FAMILY PICTURES!!!

Almost 35 pounds lost! I am so happy to finally have enough confidence for FAMILY PICTURES!!!

FOOD FOR THE BODY

• LOW CALORIE CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY ICE CREAM PIE (from www.laaloosh.com)
  

Serves: 8
Points +: 4

• 6.5 oz of chocolate wafer cookies
• 3 tbsp reduced fat butter ( I used Brummel and Brown Spread)
• 1/4 cup confectioners' sugar
• 2 tbsp skim milk
• 3 cups raspberries, fresh or frozen (thawed)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 large egg whites, at room temperature
• 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 tbsp lemon juice

Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 9-inch pie pan with cooking spray. To prepare crust: Process cookies, confectioners' sugar, milk and butter in a food processor until finely ground. Press the mixture into the bottom and up the sides of the prepared pan, creating an even, dense crust. Bake for 12 minutes. Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, about 1 hour, pressing any puffed parts of the crust back into the pan.

To prepare filling: Meanwhile, puree raspberries, vanilla extract, lemon juice and salt in a blender or food processor until smooth. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a medium bowl, pressing with a rubber spatula to extract the juice; discard seeds. Bring 1 inch of water to a slow simmer in a large saucepan. Combine egg whites, granulated sugar and cream of tartar in a 3-quart stainless-steel bowl. Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed until foamy.

Set the bowl over the simmering water and continue to beat on medium speed, moving the mixer around, until the mixture is glossy and thick, about 3 1/2 minutes. Increase the speed to high, and continue beating over the simmering water until very stiff and glossy, about 3 1/2 minutes more (the eggs will be at a safe temperature, 160°F, at this point).

Remove from the heat and continue beating on medium speed until room temperature, 3 to 5 minutes. Fold the raspberry puree into the meringue until combined. Pour the raspberry filling into the pie crust. Place the pie on a level surface in your freezer and freeze until solid, at least 6 hours.

To serve, let the pie stand at room temperature until softened slightly, about 10 minutes, before slicing. Slice into 8 equally sized pieces.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Let failure be your teacher, not your undertaker." --Zig Ziglar

"Today I could desire with all my heart. . . . that all. . . . would thank God for one more day! For what? For the opportunity to take care of some unfinished business. To repent; to right some wrongs; to influence for good. . . . ; to reach out to someone who cries for help--in short, to thanks God for one more day to prepare to meet God." --Harold B. Lee