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Tuesday, July 23, 2013


Every one of us, and our families, can be armed with the power of God as a defense if we will but remain true to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and let the Spirit be our guide. Trials may come, and we may not understand everything that happens to us or around us. But if we humbly, quietly trust in the Lord, He will give us strength and guidance in every challenge we face. When our only desire is to please Him, we will be blessed with a deep inner peace.  --Bruce D. Porter


My heart is full, full, FULL today!  I am feeling the spirit so keenly this morning.  I have been focusing these last few weeks on starting my mornings with meaningful prayer and it has made ALL THE DIFFERENCE!  I have more energy, more direction, more purpose, and more passion for life.  Each morning, I do the tuck and tumble out of bed and land directly on my knees.  This is a good, good experiment!

I have been feeling so guided and loved.  I am learning that there is beauty in living day to day, not knowing all the answers, not knowing logistically how things will work out, just knowing that they will.  I feel protected and cared for by a loving Heavenly Father!  Things are falling into place and I feel that my future is bright.

I also have a wonderful, exciting announcement to make:  IT'S A BOY!!!!  We were able to find out the gender of our little bean last week and I am so thrilled that we will have another son!  (Matthew is thrilled as well; he's already making big plans to teach this little guy how to play Legos and about all the Star Wars characters).

I have so much to be grateful for in this life.  I am so humbled and honored to have been chosen to be a mommy in Zion to the four most beautiful children in the world, and to one more little prince on his way!  I am married to a worthy man who makes me smile and fills my heart with joy.  I have a beautiful home in a wonderful neighborhood.  I have opportunities that many women in history would have never dared to dream of.  I live in a free country.  I am allowed to worship as I choose.  I am blessed each day because of my relationship with the Savior, which is growing stronger and stronger as I strive to live His perfect example.  I am loved by a kind and gentle Father in Heaven, who trusts me to be an instrument in His work and glory.  I am blessed with countless tender mercies each day, which allow me to continually feel bathed in love.  I am so very blessed in this life and I know that as I continue to work hard to overcome my personal flaws and weaknesses, that I will receive innumerable blessings throughout eternity.  God is good.  So good.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT-- Forever Families!

I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had the last few weeks to spend time with my family.  Three of my out-of-town brothers were in town with their families in June and July and it was so nice to spend time with them.  I have been thinking a lot about families and the purpose of the family.  I think that families are meant to protect each other during the hard times.  They are meant to stand up for each other!  They have been created to show us in this life, a glimpse of what heaven can be like.

We went camping last week with my extended family and it was wonderful to step away from work and just spend a few days connecting with the children.  Camping with family, though exhausting, always seems to remind me of what is truly important:  relationships.

My health is a little better, I think.  My breathing is pretty good and my oxygen levels are usually where they need to be.  When I start to feel winded, I try to sit and practice my breathing techniques.  I am not having any chest pain, which is so comforting and probably rules out an embolism!  My pulse is a little lower than it was.  I have another appointment this week, so hopefully the doctor will be pleased!  I also hope to find out what the baby is this week!

I love this stage in pregnancy, when I get to start feeling the baby move!  At times, I still feel doubts about finances/etc. start to enter my mind.  On Sunday, a speaker in sacrament meeting was reading 1 Nephi 3:7, a verse I've heard a million times:

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

As I heard this verse, it struck me with such power that I am doing what the Lord has asked me to do.  By showing obedience, I am entitled to God's help in raising this child.  I have to have faith that He will help us to provide for this child and that we will be blessed in many ways for choosing to heed this important prompting.  I am full of joy, knowing that the Lord stands willing and ready to bless my family extravagantly!  As I feel my womb (and my tummy!) stretch and grow, I also feel my spirit stretch and grow!  My resolve to trust God's will for my family is growing as well.  I am beginning to really see that His way is a better and more sure path!  And for that knowledge, I am so entirely grateful!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT -- How Can I Keep From Singing?

The last few weeks have been interesting!  At my last doctor's appointment, I was so out of breath and I could also tell that my heart was racing.  I mentioned it to the doctor and he immediately tested my oxygen saturation which was 76.  It is supposed to be no lower than 90!  He told me in no uncertain terms that if it does not improve dramatically and quickly, that he would be ordering an MRI and possibly even an angiogram to rule out the possibility of a pulmonary embolism or other complication.  Later as I was talking to my mom, she mentioned that when she was pregnant with me (same age, also her fifth child) she developed congestive heart failure that lasted through her pregnancy.  I have been regularly testing my oxygen sats, and mostly they are behaving, but at times, the numbers are still dangerously low.  The doctor is watching me very closely and I am now considered high-risk.  Whew!

With all this comes exhaustion, difficulty breathing, and often feelings of anxiousness!  I attended the temple again last week when my brother was in town for a visit and I was struggling with my breathing to the point that I almost had to get up and leave.  I am so glad that my prayers were answered and I was able to make it through the session!  That night, my husband and dad gave me a blessing.  I was blessed with the ability to read my body's signals, and know what I should do to care for myself through this pregnancy.  I was also admonished to be patient and to be faithful and to put my trust in God.  I hope that I can hang in there and that my symptoms will be manageable throughout the next 22 weeks!  Any prayers for a healthy pregnancy would be greatly appreciated!

I am trying so hard to eliminate stress from my life.  I will be the first to admit that at times, I can be a little intense.  I am prescribing myself a daily dose of music and meditation, both things that I have found that I need in my life if peace of mind is desired. And of course prayer!  I have also been focusing on my morning prayers, which is something I have often neglected in the past.  When I pray, on my knees, each morning, my day is a little easier and it is also easier for me to recognize the Lord's hand!

For example, last week I misplaced $100 cash.  I have been looking EVERYWHERE for that money and have been just sick about losing it!  We are going on a camping trip with my family this week and that money was so needed!  After days and days of searching and worrying, I prayed about it yesterday morning, asking Heavenly Father to help me think of where it might be.  Last night I was reading to my daughter and the story told about a missing diamond and about all the characters who were searching for it.  Something in that story triggered my memory and I thought that I would go out to our car, which has been out of commission, and look there.  After I finished reading, I walked out to the car, looked to the right of the driver's seat and there was the money, right where I'd pictured it in my mind!  Thank you, Heavenly Father!

When life is hard, chaotic, unsure, uncertain, even frightening, I find my heart full of gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It grounds me.  The relationships that I am trying to forge with my Father and His Son, my Savior, anchor me during my most troubling times.  I want to shout to the world that I know that they are real and that they know me as an individual!  I want the world to know that I have felt their love in my daily struggles!  I want to express to all who can hear (or read) my words that I am loved!  I am numbered!  I am a daughter of God!  I have always loved the lyrics to the song, "How Can I Keep From Singing?"

My life flows on in endless song

Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn
That hails a new creation
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing?

What tho’ my joys and comfort die?
The Lord my Saviour liveth
What tho’ the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night He giveth
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that Refuge clinging
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin
I see the blue above it
And day by day this pathway smoothes
Since first I learned to love it
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart
A fountain ever springing
All things are mine since I am His
How can I keep from singing?

Here is a link to a performance of this very special, very beautiful hymn:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5BDCWUfpsU