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Friday, June 24, 2011


Well, life is still crazy, but it feels mostly crazy good, not crazy bad. Tyler is back in school with two new semesters under his belt. I am so proud of him. He is getting wonderful grades and works full time too. What a wonderful husband and father he is! Unfortunately, his paraprofessional teaching position at Dale Young Community High School has now been eliminated due to budget cuts. Which means, by necessity, I have gone back to work again. I am doing some telemarketing for the same insurance agent I used to work for, which is a little frustrating, since the pay is so little, considering that I am a licensed insurance producer. I am also working for Blomquist Hale Consulting, a counseling office here in Brigham. I am the fill-in receptionist, so I only work a few days each month, but the hourly wage here is great, the job is very easy, and I LOVE the nature of the work. I feel very blessed to be where I am.

The frustrating thing is, I STILL do not know where we will ever find stability in our careers. It seems like every time we find a resting place: jobs that pay the bills, schedules that work for our family, etc., then is the time when we are again pushed into the dark. The other day, another Farmers agent from Roy called me out of the blue and talked to me about filling in for his receptionist while she is out on maternity leave and also doing some telemarketing for them. At his office, I would make MUCH more money. The only problem is that it is quite a commute for a mommy who is not even sure she's supposed to be working at all. And I'm scared. I have a part of me that is so timid, so very frightened of discomfort. I'm a homebody by nature and all this putting myself out there professionally becomes exhausting. I am tired. But, it's nice to have options and to know that we have a future when so many are not employed at all during these hard times. I'm sorry if this post is disjointed and unorganized. If so, it would accurately represent the jumble of thoughts and feelings in my mind and heart.

Thank goodness for the Spirit. I love knowing that I can have moments of peace and clarity whenever I choose to slow down and take the time to pray, read my scriptures, and meditate. I have been combining my scripture study and my workout sessions on the elliptical machine. I now look forward to these times. After a long, stressful day, it is so nice to go downstairs and jump on my elliptical and read the words of the prophets. It has been so good for me.

This is sure to be a lengthy post, since I haven't even gotten to my main point yet. Even with all the uncertainty swirling around my family, I feel peaceful most of the time. I know that I will be led in the dark if I live righteously, which I am desperately trying to do. I know that the Lord is mindful of our situation and that He knows why we are facing these trials, and what our faith can help us accomplish eventually. I am able to look back on the tremendous growth we have both experienced in the last twenty one months since Ty lost his job. We have learned to have more faith, to trust in our loving Heavenly Father and each other. Our family is close. Our blessings are appreciated, and rarely taken for granted. Our perspective is better. Our spiritual capacities have expanded. Our testimony of tithing is absolutely undeniable. I feel honored to have been "blessed" with this trial.

Anyway, I was going to share a great little story with you from Elder Allen F. Packer. He was playing in an important football game when he was on his high school team. He had prepared well for the game, showing up each day for practice, running his drills, working out his body to develop strength, and listening diligently to the counsel of his wise coach who dedicated himself to teaching his team the basics of football. He kept practicing until his skills became natural and automatic. In the most critical, chaotic moment of the game, amid the deafening noise, he was able to hear his coach's voice above the crowd, "Packer! Tackle him!"

He went on: "I have wondered how I heard the voice above all the other noise. I had become acquainted with the voice of the coach during the practices, and I had learned to trust it. I knew that what he taught worked. We need to be acquanited with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies." (Elder Allen F. Packer, "Finding Strength in Challenging Times," General Conference, April 2009)

I am so grateful to have the ability to hear the Spirit's promptings over the roar and chaos of the word and all its cares. I am so very blessed to have this direction. Each time I choose to obey, each time I chose faith over fear, I become more practiced in living the gospel and living righteously becomes a little easier, more natural and automatic. I have felt my testimony grow through my obedience. I hope that I can continue in faith and trust. I pray that I will always be able to hear the voice of the Lord in the midst of challenges and chaos.