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Thursday, October 11, 2012


I am feeling so much better this week.  I lost half a pound at last night's weigh-in and 1.6 the week before.  Those numbers are still a little smaller than I would like, but I'm trying to be optimistic.  At least I'm headed in the right direction again.  I have been walking several times this week and I can now do about five miles again, which is a great improvement.  I'm feeling more in control and more confident that I can get this thing back on track very soon.

I had a long email chat with Katie's teacher and as Anne Shirley said in Anne of Green Gables, "I think we may be kindred spirits after all."  She is more aware of my feelings and concerns, more informed about Katie and what is normal for her and what is not, and we have come up with a game plan that will help Katie succeed in class without singling her out in a negative way.  I feel so much better.  Now I see why we are counseled in the Bible to go directly to the source to solve conflicts.  Once I talked with her teacher, all of my frustrations were on the table and she was able to share some of her concerns.  I pray now that Katie will begin to love school again and that her little self-esteem will flourish.

General Conference was like water on the dry, cracked desert soil for me.  It was so refreshing.  I cried like a baby through all the talks, especially Jeffrey R. Holland's.  I loved when he, speaking of Peter and the apostles on the ship the second time trying to fish, asked:  "Why are we here again, having this same discussion?"  I'm sure that I'm often needlessly repeating lessons that I've already had, reviewing scenarios that I really don't need to review.  I need to learn to learn, then learn to leave it behind and MOVE on!

I also loved Marcus Nash's talk.  I loved it for a very specific reason, which I am not ready to share with blogland.  I loved how he talked about an airplane having two wings:  one is logic and one is faith.  It cannot fly with logic alone.  Nor can it fly with faith alone.  But, for most of us, logic is the predominant wing.  He taught that we need to balance things out when we're making decisions in life, using logic as the valuable and God-given tool that it is, but also allowing faith to take over where logic fails.  I'm dealing with such a decision in my life at this time, though I cannot share what it is yet.  I also loved this quote:  "Testimony is the point of departure, not the final destination."  I love that!  I think that in the church we focus so much on testimony, but honestly, the gospel is much more about conversion.  Dallin H. Oaks was quoted a few times in conference as well for saying:  "Testimony is knowing and feeling.  Conversion is doing and becoming."

I am trying to raise the bar.  To lengthen my stride.  To stand a little taller.  To try a little harder.  These cliches are anything but cliche to me.  I am here to become.  I realize that I'm not expected to be perfect.  Not yet.  I can't be without the Savior.  I know that He can make much more out of my life than I could ever do on my own.


Nicole said...

You inspire me so much. :) Keep going. You're amazing!