FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT--A Beautiful Spirit

Originally this blog was titled "Faith Precedes Size 10: Finding Joy in My Weight Loss Journey." Since I started writing, I have had other struggles sort of eclipse the original purpose of the blog and have been pleased to find that the messages I had been posting and collecting translated quite nicely to many different types of trials. I have had comments from others battling obesity, those dealing with infertility, and others who are facing un- or under- employment. One of the beautiful things about gospel study is that you find layers of meaning in the words of the prophets and in the Savior's own teachings.

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching the last few days since I read Elder Hallstrom's talk, which I referenced the other day. More specifically, the phrase: "deal with the problem directly and with all the strength you posess. . . "

I am so grateful for the prompting I received almost two years ago to start a blog. Though I haven't yet made tremondous progress with my physical health or appearance, I feel that my testimony and understanding have grown substantially. That, coupled with the support network from my readers, have made an incredible difference in my life. Thanks again for encouraging me.

When I used to attend Weight Watchers meetings I remember our class leader once taught us that the number on the scale is only feedback. If I gain one week, the number is simply feedback that whatever I did that week did not work. Calling a weight gain a "failure" is neither accurate or productive. If I lose weight however, the strategies I implemented worked and should probably be duplicated. It goes the same way in life. The only possible way I can ever really fail at anything, is by giving up. I do feel as if I have sort of given up on my goals to lose weight and I'd really like to get back on board with my plans. Though my life is riddled with stressors and complicated by uncertainty, I know that my goals are important to the Savior. They are righteous and qualify as an "anxious cause" in which I should be engaged. In short, I know that when and if I am willing, He offers His hand. He can help me get up off the ground and give this thing one more shot.

On Sunday, I did a family photo session and my husband and I had some pictures taken as well. Later, as I edited the images of myself, yes, there was the usual shock in seeing myself so large. And yes, the usual self-critical comments came to mind, but: 1) I was so proud of myself for taking the time to edit them, as I would for any of my clients and 2) I was surprised to see a beautiful spirit there in each photo. I feel that editing pictures of "fat me" was a extremely significant move towards self-love. After all, I am me. . . God's child. And He is there to help me. So, I will try again, with my hand in His.