As you know, these last 2 1/2 months have been a whirlwind of change and emotion for me and for my family. I have had moments of profound gratitude and days when I have felt so incredibly cared for and watched over. Unfortunately, I have also had days and nights when I have allowed pride and frustration to enter into and harden my heart. Something about the survival-of-the-fittest mentality of a job search and a whole new way of life for our family, left me lacking once again in regards to things spiritual. I found myself this week, at the bottom of the vicious cycle of pride spoken of in the Book of Mormon. Tonight's post, at a rather late hour, is my way of pledging to God that I will not allow Satan's lies and tales of hopelessness and worthlessness defeat me.
Tonight, I read of a literal account of hopelessness in Alma 56. Moroni and his "little" band of 2000 young, inexperienced soldiers, found themselves in dire circumstances in a very dangerous war for liberty:
vs. 40 ". . . Neither would I turn to the right nor to the left lest they should overtake me, and we could not stand against them, but be slain. . . and thus did we flee all that day into the wilderness, even until it was dark."
I found myself in this verse. I found myself running from fear and uncertainty. I was there, running from my fear of failure, my disappointment in self. Imagine my surprise when I again found myself a few verses later, in a much different light:
vs. 44 "Therefore, what say ye my sons, will ye go against them to battle?"
Yes! I do not want to give up this most important fight. The fight for liberty of soul and spirit! I will trust AGAIN in the God who has delivered me in the past!
Then, I saw my future self in verses 46-47, and I could picture the triumph of defeating my depression, my health problems, my weight, and my uncertainty and lack of faith:
". . . behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth. . . "
". . . Now they had never fought, yet they did not fear death (or failure). . . they had been taught. . . that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them."
I do not doubt that I am here at this point in my life for a purpose. I do not doubt that, through my faith and my attitude, I possess the strength to survive and thrive through hard times. And moreover, I do not doubt that through God's tutelage, I can be guided and taught until all my weaknesses become my greatest triumphs.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.-Eleanor Roosevelt
Here are some more great thoughts from General Conference:
"As our Father, He is always willing and desirous to forgive our errors and weaknesses and the sins we commit, subject only to total and sincere repentance. And as a complement to that—and as the maximum manifestation of His immense love for each one of His children—He provides us with the consequences of the singular work wrought by the Savior, namely the Atonement, brought about by an obedient Son always willing to do the Father’s will in benefit to each one of us" (Jorge F. Zeballos, "Attempting the Impossible," General Conference, October 2009).
"Tempered glass, like tempered steel, undergoes a well-controlled heating process which increases strength. Thus, when tempered glass is under stress, it will not easily break into jagged shards that can injure.
Likewise, a temperate soul—one who is humble and full of love—is also a person of increased spiritual strength. With increased spiritual strength, we are able to develop self-mastery and to live with moderation. We learn to control, or temper, our anger, vanity, and pride. With increased spiritual strength, we can protect ourselves from the dangerous excesses and destructive addictions of today’s world" (Elder Kent D. Watson, "Being Temperate in All Things," General Conference, October 2009).
"For most, repentance is more a journey than a one-time event. It is not easy. To change is difficult. It requires running into the wind, swimming upstream. Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.”18 Repentance is turning away from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts, and turning toward other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality. It is “re-turning” toward God. . .
"Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving and working to repent, you are in the process of repenting." (Elder Neil L. Anderson, " Repent. . . That I May Heal You," General Conference, October 2009).
" . . .the rich[est] rewards come only to the strenuous strugglers" (As quoted by David O McKay, The Teachings of David O. McKay, by Mary Jane Woodger, 2004, 300).
More Awesome Quotes from Conference:
"Since the beginning of time, love has been the source of both the highest bliss and the heaviest burdens. At the heart of misery from the days of Adam until today, you will find the love of wrong things. And at the heart of joy, you will find the love of good things. And the greatest of all good things is God" (President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "The Love of God," General Conference, October 2009).
"God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely."
"We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken" (President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "The Love of God," General Conference, October 2009).
"My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father, and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you" (President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "The Love of God," General Conference, October 2009).
The divine love of God turns ordinary acts into extraordinary service. Divine love is the motive that transports simple words into sacred scripture. Divine love is the factor that transforms reluctant compliance with God’s commandments into blessed dedication and consecration. Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder. Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship. Love is the way of the disciple (President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "The Love of God," General Conference, October 2009).
No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!
For what we love determines what we seek.
What we seek determines what we think and do.
What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.
(President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "The Love of God," General Conference, October 2009)
Yay! The text from General Conference has been posted! For the next few posts, I'll probably be quoting some of the AWESOME and INSPIRING quotes from conference. So many quotes, so little time!
"I am convinced that there is no simple formula or technique that would immediately allow you to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit. Our Father expects you to learn how to obtain that divine help by exercising faith in Him and His Holy Son, Jesus Christ. Were you to receive inspired guidance just for the asking, you would become weak and ever more dependent on Them. They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit" (Elder Richard G. Scott, "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance," General Conference, October 2009).
"Spirituality yields two fruits. The first is inspiration to know what to do. The second is power, or the capacity to do it" (Elder Richard G. Scott, "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance," General Conference, October 2009).
"The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other" (Elder Richard G. Scott, "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance," General Conference, October 2009).
"Because the Spirit is often described as a still, small voice, it is also important to have a time of quiet in our lives as well. The Lord has counseled us to 'be still, and know that I am God.' If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us" (Vicki F. Matsumori, "Helping Others Recognize teh Whisperings of the Spirit," General Conference, October 2009).
"Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.
Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent. . .
In my office is a beautiful painting of a wheat field. The painting is a vast collection of individual brushstrokes—none of which in isolation is very interesting or impressive. In fact, if you stand close to the canvas, all you can see is a mass of seemingly unrelated and unattractive streaks of yellow and gold and brown paint. However, as you gradually move away from the canvas, all of the individual brushstrokes combine together and produce a magnificent landscape of a wheat field. Many ordinary, individual brushstrokes work together to create a captivating and beautiful painting.
Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes" (Elder David A. Bednar, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home," General Conference, October 2009).
I have to apologize for my lack of posts lately. Since Ty lost his job, I have gone back to work and life has become a little more. . . well, complicated. I will still try to post at least two or three times a week, but I don't think I can manage a post every day. Keep checking back though, and PLEASE continue leaving comments. Your comments are always that little push that keeps me going with this project. Love you guys!
On Prayer:
Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you? I know, it sounds creepy, but sometimes, I truly can feel someone not only watching me, but really looking out for me. I felt that way today as the announcement was made that a temple will be built in my hometown. I know there are probably millions of very deep, spiritual and temporal reasons for that particular announcement at this particular moment in time. Still, I can't help but feel that Heavenly Father is bringing a temple to Brigham City just for me. I think of the weeks the Spirit has been working on me, whispering that it's been too long since my last visit. I think of the last three attempts we made to go to the temple...babysitter backing out, no gas money, and no gas money. Could it be that with all the other reasons, Heavenly Father really, truly did think of me? Now, with this thought in mind, I recommit myself to regular temple attendance, as a token of my gratitude. I love that He loves me.
What about the day I needed size 3 diapers...NOW, but pay day wasn't until Friday? How was it that I went to the store anyway, knowing full well that diapers cost more than $4, only to find a ripped open, then taped back shut bag with a clearance sticker that read $3.50?
Or what about the day I went school shopping and completely "forgot" to buy jeans for my daughter, to come home to a large bag of hand-me-down, brand-name jeans in new condition, sitting on my doorstep?
I also think of God's love for me whenever a sunset in my favorite colors: bright orange and hot pink, canvases the sky just at the moment I am at my breaking point. I feel cared for when my alarm clock is set for p.m. instead of a.m. and I wake to someone whispering my name and a touch on my shoulder, and turn to see no one there except for my sleeping husband. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude each time I make a tremendous effort to get my large family out the door for 9:00 church and find myself sitting in a Young Women's lesson that turns out to be just the answer to prayer for which I was seeking so desperately.
I do not believe in coincidences. There are lessons, opportunities, testimonies, evidences, and consequences, but no coincidences. I do believe in God's love and what my dear friend, Diane, refers to as "arranging angels." I thank God for His watching care and the evidences of His love for me. . . around every corner.
Enchilada Casserole (from www.cookinglight.com)
3 tablespoons diced green chiles, divided
1/2 cup salsa
1/4 cup chopped green onions
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (11-ounce) can corn with red and green peppers, drained
1 (10-ounce) can enchilada sauce
1/2 cup egg substitute
1 (8 1/2 ounce) package corn muffin mix
2 tablespoons chopped bottled roasted red bell peppers
1 1/2 cups (6 ounces) shredded reduced-fat Mexican blend or cheddar cheese
6 tablespoons low-fat sour cream
1 1/2 teaspoons thinly sliced fresh cilantro
Place 2 tablespoons green chiles and next 6 ingredients (through enchilada sauce) in a 3 1/2-quart electric slow cooker; stir well. Cover with lid; cook on low-heat setting 4 hours.
Combine remaining 1 tablespoon green chiles, egg substitute, muffin mix, and roasted bell peppers in a bowl. Spoon batter evenly over bean mixture in slow cooker. Cover and cook 1 hour or until corn bread is done.
Sprinkle cheese over corn bread. Cover and cook 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Top each serving with sour cream; sprinkle with cilantro.
Spinach Salad with Grilled Pork Tenderloin and Nectarines (from www.cookinglight.com)
Serves: 6
Points: 3
1 (1-pound) peppercorn-flavored pork tenderloin, trimmed
3 nectarines, halved
Cooking spray
2 (6-ounce) packages fresh baby spinach
1/4 cup light balsamic vinaigrette
1/4 cup (1 ounce) crumbled feta cheese (optional)
Freshly ground black pepper (optional)
Prepare grill.
Cut pork horizontally through center of meat, cutting to, but not through, other side using a sharp knife; open flat as you would a book. Place pork and nectarine halves, cut sides down, on grill rack coated with cooking spray. Grill pork 5 minutes on each side or until a thermometer registers 160°. Grill nectarine halves 4 to 5 minutes on each side or until thoroughly heated. Remove pork and nectarine halves from grill. Let pork rest 10 minutes.
Cut nectarine halves into slices. Thinly slice pork. Combine spinach and vinaigrette in a large bowl; toss gently to coat.
Divide spinach mixture evenly on each of 6 plates. Top each serving evenly with nectarine slices and pork slices. Sprinkle with cheese. Sprinkle evenly with pepper, if desired.
In this month's Ensign, President Monson wrote about the search of the Fountain of Youth. Many, in the 15th century truly believed that there was a pool of sacred water somewhere that would slow the body's aging and grant men a longer, more youthful existence. Ponce de Leon sailed with Columbus to the Bahamas, Florida, and around the Carribbean, in search of this fountain of youth. We know now that there is no fountain of youth, but there is what President Monson referred to as a "Fountain of Truth." This fountain is eternal life.
In the article, he goes on to explain how we might obtain the waters from this fountain:
"There is no need for you or me in this enlightened age, when the fullness of the gospel has been restored, to sail uncharted seas or travel unmarked roads in search of the fountain of truth. For a loving Heavenly Father has plotted our course and provided an unfailing map--obedience!" (President Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Strength Through Obedience," Ensign, October 2009, 6).
Obedience, then is the key to lasting joy. Obedience is the key to knowledge and joy. Obedience is our one true quest here on Earth. And to whom can we look for a perfect example of obedience? The Savior.
"The Master's very actions give credence to His words. He demonstrated genuine love of God by living the perfect life, by honoring the sacred mission that was His. Never was He haughty. Never was He puffed up with pride. Never was He disloyal. Ever was He humble. Ever was He sincere. Ever was He true.
Though He was tempted by that master of deceit, event he devil; though He was physically weakened from fasting 40 days and 40 nights and 'was afterward an hungred', yet when the evil one proffered Jesus the most alluring and tempting proposals, He gave to us a divine example of obedience by refusing to deviate from what He knew was right" (President Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Strength Through Obedience," Ensign, October 2009, 6).
Baked Honey Mustard Chicken (from www.allrecipes.com)
Serves:
Points: 4
6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup prepared mustard
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Sprinkle chicken breasts with salt and pepper to taste, and place in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish. In a small bowl, combine the honey, mustard, basil, paprika, and parsley. Mix well. Pour 1/2 of this mixture over the chicken, and brush to cover.
Bake in the preheated oven for 30 minutes. Turn chicken pieces over and brush with the remaining 1/2 of the honey mustard mixture. Bake for an additional 10 to 15 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear. Let cool 10 minutes before serving.
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