FOOD FOR THE SPIRIT -- Revitalized

Last night, for the first time in months, maybe even years, I was able to attend a Relief Society activity.  I was asked to teach couponing for just a few minutes.  There were other teachers for the evening as well.  A good friend of mine, Amanda Kotter, taught about natural cleaning and another lady, Katie Shepherd taught about spiritual spring cleaning.  It was a wonderful meeting and I learned not only about couponing and cleaning, but I heard personal testimonies about the power of personal revelation in overcoming weaknesses.  Amanda spoke for a moment about some specific promptings and guidance she received in response to her petitions, which helped her to overcome bad health habits.  When she started eating only whole foods and cleaning only with natural products, she lost weight, her skin cleared, her mood improved, etc.  She also started a daily habit of positive affirmations to help combat the negativity which had taken over her life.

I have been thinking more and more lately about eliminating more processed food from my diet.  Though I doubt I'll ever be as gung ho about eating clean and cleaning with natural products as Amanda is, it was so nice to hear that God responded to her prayers in such an applicable and timely way.  I know that as I pray for guidance in my quest for physical, emotional, and spiritual health, He will also bless me with the answers I seek.

Going in to the meeting last night, I was kind of a wreck.  It had been a long, stressful day jammed with activities:  work, parent-teacher conferences, orthodontist appointments, shopping and errands, my nephew's mission call, then teaching the workshop.  I am ashamed to say, that with the craziness and stress of the day, I was NOT a nice person.  I was a yelling, grumpy, negative, MESS!  The stress of the last year seemed to accumulate until I was about to explode and by the time I got to the church, I was NOT feeling the spirit and I was trying with all my might to hold back the tears of frustration and stress.

Sister Shepherd talked about how we can eliminate unnecessary stress, distractions, and filth from our lives and our home and shorten the time periods of walking in spiritual darkness.  We all have periods of spiritual darkness, she explained, but we don't have to tarry in the dark.  We need to step into the light as quickly as we realize where we are.  The Lord wants us to walk in the light and He forgives and guides each and every time we ask for deliverance.

When I came home, I spent some time alone before bed reviewing my patriarchal blessing.  I have so many concerns and stresses swirling in my heart and I am so overwhelmed with it all.  Last night I prayed for guidance to know what needed addressing right now and what could wait a little longer.  While reading my blessing, I wrote down each admonition or piece of counsel mentioned.  When I was done writing them, I scored myself on how I felt I was doing on each on a 1-10 scale.  Then, I circled the four lowest scores and decided that these would be my priorities for now. . . for this season of life.  I then wrote some specific goals that I could work on.  As I looked at my list of admonitions from my blessing, I felt overwhelming relief and peace, to the point of tears.  I realized that I had just been given my life syllabus.  The ONLY things I am expected to work on in this life were all there in front of me on one side of a single sheet of paper.

I thought about how Tyler goes to his advisor at USU often to determine what he has accomplished and what courses still need to be completed.  At times, his advisor will even waive a requirement.  I hope that I can take just a few courses from my syllabus at a time, focusing on those with all my energy, knowing that the time to work on the others intensively will come when the season is right.  I pray that God will bless me in my endeavors.  I know that He will.  I pray that as I strive to live more righteously, with more faith, perhaps our life will settle down a little.  I hope to have a little more faith, a little more gratitude, a little more humility.

After reviewing my blessing and setting goals, the Spirit inquired of me:  "What is the desire of your heart?"  I thought for several minutes, then decided that the desire of my heart is to be a better wife and mother and to have more children.  We have known for quite some time, that there is at least one more child waiting to join our family.  I desire nothing more than to get that baby here and to be ready physically, spiritually, and financially for the opportunity to become a mother again.  There is quite a bit to this story, but I'll share that with you another day.  I felt the spirit comfort me and acknowledge my desire.  We'll see what happens.  I felt loved to have been asked that question and it was wonderful to be able to communicate that to my Heavenly Father.

As I was laying in bed last night, I asked my husband the same question:  "What is the desire of your heart?"  He said that his deepest desire is to be with his family for eternity.  I couldn't agree more.  This is real.  The plan of salvation makes that possible.  I know it does.  I have so far to go, but God is so kind.  I know I will never be left alone as long as I am working to become a better person.

Sister Shepherd's closing words last night were:  "He is coming again.  He is coming soon."

I believe that.  And when He comes, I want to be caught doing good.  I want to be caught following a prompting.  I want to be caught helping a neighbor.  I was to be caught attending the temple.  I want to be caught on my knees.  I want to be caught teaching my children the gospel.  I want to be caught taking care of this precious body, a gift from God.  I want to be caught smiling, joyful and grateful for all my blessings.  I can't wait.