Inspiring Myself

Today I took a break from my usual Monday routine to sit and read my Facebook timeline.  I read back into the past, through all my successes and heartbreaks with weight loss, health, finances, etc.  As I read my own words, I was so inspired!  But the feelings of inspiration were bittersweet and it hit me for the first time that I have SO FAR TO GO.  Only I know how hard I worked to lose those 76 pounds.  Only I know how many hours I spent tracking, working out, and praying for strength and guidance.  This morning as I read through my feed, I felt a tremendous sense of loss.  I started bawling and I realized that I now need to muster the courage to do it all again.  I think that feeling this sense of grief was a healthy step in my recovery.  But, I really was encouraged by my positivity, especially during the hard times.  I would NOT consider myself to be back at square one because this time, I KNOW that I have a supportive Heavenly Father, a network of family and friends who are always cheering my successes (large and small), and that I have a deep and abiding faith and love for the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Because I have walked this path before, and more importantly, because my Savior has walked this path before, I know that all things are possible.

Two weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers again.  Last week I got my First Five award!  It feels so good to know that I am on my way again.  I know how hard this will be, but I also know that being overweight is even harder.  I'm worth the effort.  I am a child of God, and I want to be healthy for Him.  I know that my desires are righteous.  I know that He loves me and is mindful of my desires.  I place myself in His care and I pray that I will be found worthy of His guidance and of His strength.  I know that without Him, I am nothing, and that with Him I am truly mighty.  As I read my timeline this morning, I saw that mightiness.  I am a fighter, a survivor, a warrior, and I will come off conqueror!  I know that there will be countless difficulties in my path, but the Lord will make the way clear for me.  I am back.  And He is my Captain.